Watching Someone Spin-Out

Music is a highly under-utilized self-soothing tool, not to mention an unexpectedly perfect marker for our personal growth. Representative of  hundreds of little seasons of the heart, the songs we connect with help us track time and realize the changes that are happening in our lives.

The point of Sound Track Sunday is to emphasize and celebrate music's ability to capture the nuance of any moment in time and to help invite the feelings that moment in time holds.  I have a penchant for the ostensibly tiny, more subtle moments in time -- the ones that are often experienced privately and go by without much fanfare, but retroactively gain special meaning.  Sort of like how some people like assigning outfits to a specific event, "the perfect job interview look/meeting the parents/getting drinks with an ex," I like assigning songs to moments in time.

This week's Sound Track Sunday is: "To Make You Feel My Love" by the ever-lovely (even though she was hyper over-exposed), Adelle"

It's the perfect song for this situation:

For when you feel so much love for someone who just doesn't love themselves.  It can be romantic love, familial love, parental love, or love for an amazing friend.  The person you love is in self-destructive mode, and you have no choice but to watch them spin out.   You've tried everything, said everything and done everything you can to dent their stubborn and dangerous decent into toxicity, but your efforts don't work.  You know why your efforts don't work, because you can only ever control yourself, not others.  But that knowledge does exactly nothing to quell the twisting feeling in your heart.  You've learned the hard way that when someone continually refuses help, you need to let go - it's just that letting go is completely expletive heartbreaking.  You would do anything to connect with them meaningfully, but all you do is connect to yourself meaningfully.  To connect to your own difficulty and pain, to acknowledge your helplessness in the situation and to feel all that you feel so that you don't stuff the feelings down somewhere and become self-destructive yourself.  

{{{I love playing with music, and if you do too, please consider sharing a song that's the perfect soundtrack for (you tell me).  The situation you soundtrack doesn't have to be a real event that happened or have anything to do with what you're personally going through.}}}