communication

HOTLINE BLING

I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no.  But I'll get to that in a second, first I want to tell you a little story.Once upon a time in a far away land called the early 90's, there was no internet and no Netflix, and when people felt ...

5 Signs of a Bad Listener

There are so many incredibly simple things in life that we unnecessarily complicate; listening is one of them. More specifically, there are 5 ways that listeners unintentionally taint conversations that have the potential to be so connective. If ...

Switch These 2 Words During Your Next Tough Conversation

As Donn King says, people are not logical, they're psycho-logical.  When it comes to effectively communicating, there's a certain three letter word that causes a whole lot of trouble.  This word, especially when used during an argument or ...

9 Lessons On Connection I've Learned from Being a Therapist

In no particular order, these 9 lessons continue to pop up in my work as a therapist.  No matter who the person is, no matter what the situation is, there are some things that remain true no matter what:1.  People will rarely tell others ...

The 6 Family Roles In Addiction

When addiction happens, it happens to the whole family.  When we hear the word, "addict," we basically think of a 'junkie.'  But addiction comes in a myriad of forms.  Whether the addiction is to food, alcohol, heroine, marijuana, chaos (etc.), ...

Pretty Much the Number One Communication Tool of All Time

I wish he would just bring me flowers once in a while. --Does he know how much you would like that, or what your favorite kind of flowers are? No, but it should be obvious--who doesn't want flowers?  And anyway, I don't want to tell him to do it, ...

6 Steps to An Effective Apology - Part 4

Well, this is taking longer than you thought it would.  What happened to a heartfelt, "I'm sorry." (?) Small offenses are salved by a heartfelt I'm sorry, and since I'm guessing you tried that and it didn't work, this might be a bigger offense than ...

6 Steps to An Effective Apology - Part 3

So, you've taken care of the first step of apologizing and you definitely have a handle on the second.  Without further adieu, here 's step 3 (which might just be the most important step): 3.  Identify the main hurt in the other person. Being "hurt" ...

6 Steps to an Effective Apology - Part 1

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry for them to believe me?!”  I hear that phrase a lot in my practice, and I know it’s a frustrating place to be.  You did something hurtful, you’re truly sorry, you said you were sorry and you wholeheartedly ...

6 Steps to an Effective Apology / Part 2

If you've figured out what you're actually sorry for, you're ready for step two of a meaningful apology: 2. Explain your state of mind. An apology is as much an explanation as it is an expression of regret.  If you're sorry for your behavior and the ...