habits /

When Working-Out is the Worst, How to Motivate Yourself to Exercise

ladies working out

3 Mantras for People Who Don't Like Exercising

Everyone knows exercising is good thing.  Breaking a sweat boosts your energy, heart health, immunity and helps you sleep better.  More than just strengthening your physical health, working out almost immediately releases the magic trifecta of these monoamines (natural chemicals in your body that affect your mood): serotonin, dopamine and norepinepherine. This study, like countless others, demonstrated

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habits /

Top 3 Reasons Why Some People Never Change

woman waiting

Lets get right in the mix. 1.  The first reason is best explained by the father of psychology himself, Sigmund Freud: “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened by responsibility.” True change is about letting go of blame and taking personal accountability for the way you

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free association /

How To Tell If Someone’s A Narcissist

how to tell if someones a narcissist

After this interview I did for ELLE about whether or not social media is creating narcissists, a strange thing happened. A bunch of people from all over the country emailed me describing their bosses, ex’s, friends, and various family members — and everyone wanted to know the same thing, “Does that make them a narcissist?” I

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habits /

Tuning In: 3 Simple Ways Music Can Improve Your Mental Health

katherine schafler music

Guest Post by Maya Benattar

As we move through our often busy lives, music is all around us. There is rhythm in a crowd crossing a busy street or a yoga class moving through a Sun Salutation, melody in the cacophony of taxi horns or a gentle bird song. We hear music in stores, in subways, and when on hold

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habits /

How To Change Naturally

making changes

Hint: If You're Not Ready, You Don't Have To

If you’re not ready to make that change you’ve been wanting to make, you don’t have to.  When you’re ready-enough, you’ll do it.  Here’s why – Sustainable change (i.e. change that actually lasts) always happens on an emotional level before it happens on a behavioral level.  That means that real change isn’t visible at first

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habits /

The 5 Stages of Change

Newtons_Cradle

Which one are you in?

Wait, just thinking about changing is a stage of change?  That’s how you start to change — by thinking about it without doing anything? YES. The idea that just thinking about what you want to change is an actual stage of change is so rational and obvious after the fact (of course you need to think about

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habits /

3 Tips To Make Your Resolutions Stick

Resolutions

Blame it on watching Oprah religiously for the past 20 plus years (still obsessed, just FYI), but I’m kind of over the expression “live your best life.”  The thing is, I’m also a total and complete sucker for that special, singular, positive momentum that only the new year can usher in. While some people like

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habits /

Breaking a Bad Habit

There's a hole in my sidewalk

A good mini-read for when you're feeling particularly stuck

We all get in our own way sometimes.  This post is about how to get out of our own way. Portia Nelson was

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habits /

How to Get Out of Your Own Way

Kitten_Yarn

Here’s a list of things most people think they should be doing more of, see if you relate to any: I should be working out more I should be eating more healthfully I should spend more time with my family I should wake up earlier I should spend more time on my appearance in the

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habits /

When Nothing is Working, Give Up to Win

Lotus Flower

An unconventional strategy for changing your life

There aren’t many things I know to be impossible tasks, but selectively healing is one of them.  It’s number one of my ten philosophy tenets for a reason, because it’s the single most important thing to keep in mind when working on personal change. When I say that selectively healing is impossible, I mean that

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